im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
