I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
