he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize