How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
