It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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