Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
