it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize