Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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