So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
