Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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