They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
