walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
