i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
