matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
