felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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