I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
