508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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