I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He shit in the fireplace
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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