it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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