i would punch a child for taco bell
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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