threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
