My nipple is on Facebook.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
