When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize