i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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