Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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