He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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