Your dad touched me again.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
