Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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