as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
