Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
