I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Help. Why am I so naked?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
