we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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