i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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