the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
