At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize