I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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