Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
