I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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