Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
