you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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