i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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