There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
