I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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