i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
