It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
