dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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