You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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