some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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