So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
