I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
