if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
