no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize