Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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