in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Every concussion has its silver lining
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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