i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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