Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
