I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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