Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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