Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
