Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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