I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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