Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
