they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
